He isn't anxious | from the archives

"from the archives" is a series sharing journal entries from my blog "beautiefullthings." if you've already read this, you'll notice I've added a few words. hindsight is 2020 - and I wish I could go back and tell the girl who wrote all her feelings out because she wanted to believe things would get better - He isn't anxious.

He isn't anxious-

He isn't unsure about my future. He isn't questioning my tomorrow. He holds it.

He isn't anxious-

He isn't concerned about me measuring up to their standards today.

He isn't worried that I'm not enough.

He isn't concerned about my productivity. He wants my heart fully surrendered.

He isn't anxious-

He isn't unsure about how He made me.

He isn't questioning why I'm here. He made me in confidence, knowing He placed me here for a specific purpose.

He isn't anxious-

He isn't worried about people thinking highly of me. Or people misjudging intentions. Or their opinions at all.

He has an opinion of me. "and it was very good."

He isn't anxious-

He isn't concerned that my heart wanders. He knows that sometimes I have to see the emptiness of everything else to understand the fullness of Him.

He isn't anxious-

He isn't worried about the numbers that the world uses to measure my worth. He knows a scale or a GPA or salary or follower count can never measure who I really am.

He isn't concerned that I'll succeed or fail.

He isn't overthinking every move I make. He isn't worried about where I'll be next year at this time. He isn't concerned that I might not make the cut.

He wants me close to Him. And in His eyes? Everything but communion with Him doesn't matter so much.

And so today, I can replace my thoughts with His. I can see things from His perspective.

He isn't anxious,

and neither am I.